in bewailment...

It had been long since i had a broadcast.i was silent for a while for i had lost my drive to pen down any thing.i realised the writer in me is dieing slowly.i never wanted to stop him any day and my silence prolonged.but then suicidal tendencies are no good and am bak.
i dont know how many of you know bhavani teacher..atleast i dont know her personally.
the first time i read about her was in 2004 april,during seventh heaven days of my bachelorhood in bangalore in aishwarya.
(i wish the rest of my life was just like those days forever,with just one addition.but we know those days are lost forever.)
the days where i never cared for any thing and was just bak from the paradise of heaven,kashmir and just got our big brother married off.
the days wherein we just brushed aside any thing as silly..and the days where i believed tears are for lesser men.days where nothing worried us.
( i meant my folks in aishwarya ...my palace in bangalore :-) am sorry..i cant just call it a home..it was a palace indeed..not a single day in aishwarya had a tinge of sorrow or pains..any one who came into our home..went back in smiles and joy.)
and we.....
we just kept goin places...still rememberin those road trips to my home back in perintalmanna..via the forests of bandipur and nagarholle..counting the elephants on way..the trips to thirunelli..mysore..kuruva..i was almost on a trip bak to a childhood..
so happy..so peaceful..and so careless... :-).

in one of those golden days....i came across a news in one of the malayalam dailies..
a 62 yr old woman gave birth to a kid in thiruvananthapuram..it was a test tube baby..yet another but remarkable feat of science....
every one saw god's hand there..and atleast some would have praised for his kind heartedness..
it was so curious a news for me. 62 yrs..and a kid..first i frowned..and then i admired..
i just went ahead and read all about a lone elderly woman with lots of set backs in life
and have a cravin to become a mother.she fought against all the odds..of my state and her family and had the last smile.am sure on day she was on the top of this world..and no wealth can her joy.at 62 wherein almost everything think its all up and over,a woman all alone started the most beautiful phase in life..parenthood..
am sure that she was on cloud 9 and her immculate joy would have definitely radiated into her community some where in central kerala..
the world would have suddenly turned the best place to be for her and she would have definitely prayed for longer life..to make sure..her kid grow up and fly out of her wings..into the skies..all alone ...one fine day...all these days ...may b thats the only prayer she had.

and then...life didnt stop any where for all of us too..we too had our moments of joy & tears
Today feb 10th,2006...
i started off my day with a message from my sister..and then a subsequent talk to her..
and when i read the newspaper..i was hell shocked..the teacher,lost her baby in a trivial domestic incident.the kid slipped into a bucket of water.how can any one tolerate that?some how am not able to get past tht news..i can imagine the pains of gettin a kid at 62 and then loosin out him to destiny..the vaccum its gonna bring in her life is beyond words and expressions and none other than some one who lost the beloved can appreciate it..
its the worst life any one can dream about..loosing out all hopes about tommorow..and then realisin a great life as though in a dream and then everything gettin shattered in a moment..Cant imagine the plight of that unknown mother.
Gods must be crazy !!!!!

Joinin a heart broken mother in her bereavement..