Sunday, May 17, 2009

when I return ....

I was away for 2.5 years. it's a long break. i wasn't doing anything great during these days that i didn't find time to come over. i was lost. i was lost in the drifting currents of destiny. i just wandered, with no intention of finding shore. i just wanted to go with it. 5 minutes before, I didn't even dream of updating this blog today. in my apartment in bangalore( well i changed my country of residence last year), i was happy spending another sunday in silence..i was watching a movie.. a movie shot at munnar, where i wish i could go sometime during rains..the shots were hilarious and for no reason i became restless..AND..and it started raining outside.. my apartment has a glass door towards balcony and from the balcony, you will see an ocean of houses,mostly small ones, beyond the houses,stand the huge buildings on outer ring road, and beyond them is the green the nights, i spend time watching the traffic on outer ring road.. i just stepped onto my balcony to see the rain..and i suddenly remembered my blog. in less than a second, i got restless again..and i felt i should visit my blog. i think my love for it got re kindled. Rekindled love is an interesting topic i guess...well i rarely had such experiences..and most of them are too trivial to state here..while i wrote so far, the light outside has completely faded, and it looks like a monsoon evening outside..sitting on sofa, with my laptop on my lap, i can see the bubbles of rain getting busted on my balcony, a 100 of them every moment. some lucky ones are floating around,waiting for their turn to get busted... (how short is their life span) ...and i am filled with that unique monsoon despair..i wish, i was home..I am lucky these days, my home is just 355 kms away (i drove last week to my home and found the distance), another 8 hrs can take me there.. rain is getting harder and is accompanied by thunders..i remember an old rainy and jyothi chechi used to look at the flashes through the only chillodu on the roof (chillodu is the roof tile, with glass embedded so that light can get into the house..) whenever thunder storms came, we counted the number of lightenings. now i remember another thing..i didn't take the clothes which i had put for drying from the i know why present always pricks and past always soothes :-) :-) (not for all,but for many)..

what do I write about? This question always puzzles me. I feel my creativity is almost dead.I cannot think about anything beyond a superficial degree. when I try to put them together, my thoughts ran away. I always lost chasing them. well not anymore..these days, I just watch them disappear like a bubble. suddenly I feel i have lots to write about. Politics, Life, cinema, elections, civic concerns, career,trips, business plans ( that's my hobby these days..discussing business wife doesn't care about them, so I don't bother her :-) :-). Me and Vinod (I call him uncle instead), can spend hours together discussing plans and ideas.)..All on a sudden, I can't stand the pressure of my topics.. I was waiting for this day to come ever since 2006. The rain bubbles outside have grown up. the rythm has changed too. its like the sound of "necklace crackers" (This word is patented by me. Necklace crackers are called mala padakkam in kerala..they are tiny crackers,may be a 100 of them, tied together. once caught fire, all of them burst one after the other) now. I just went to the glass door and looked beyond. its amazing to watch rains. I am planning to spend some time next month, watching monsoon in kerala. I have 3 plans as of now. 1 is to go to munnar and watch the rains in a tea estate on a depressing evening. 2 is go to bekal fort, and watch the rain standing on its wall..(ever since I saw movie bombay in 95, I dreamed about it). 3 is to roam around through the canals and backwaters of kuttanadu in a house boat during a rainy day. needless to say that "and take lots of photos too"... All of these experiences will be very unique. A rainy day at mookambika is vivid was a different feeling, sitting on a rock in souparnika, watching the stream. what fills you up at that instant is beyond words...its a "nice" feeling. I still cherish the day we went on top of maan para despite rains on a highly slippery track infested with leaches. cloudes were kissing our feet. when we reached on top and i couldn't see vinod whom I could touch. it was an experience of life time.. i rolled in clouds, jumped in clouds, ate clouds,hugged clouds and stamped clouds.

To wind up this post, I return to a cliche..Life is all about simple pleasures, the earlier we pursue them, the more we grab. if we postpone enjoyment to another day, that day is always tomorrow. while we race to get hold of our objectives and passion in life, never forget the low hanging fruits,simple pleasures. believe me, they are very sweet. with another sunday fading away, I feel happy though I did nothing :-).